I just received a phone call from a dear friend. She’s been battling the big “C” for four years now, and she’s only 24 years old. That wasn’t the point to the phone call, though. The point was to tell me that her husband just told her he wants a divorce. He isn’t in love with her anymore. He’s a soldier and is scheduled to deploy in April. He wants her to stay in the house with him until then. Before this came up he said that although she will be facing a round of radiation and chemotherapy, he will not request to remain on rear detachment and stay stateside. Instead, he is more concerned about what the other soldiers will call him if he doesn’t deploy…for a third tour. Now he’s decided he wants a divorce? I’m starting to think that I just may know the most selfish man on the planet. We all know that my friend has no more than five to ten years left, and they have three small children. How in the world can any of this be explained to the girls? What does he plan to do when his soon to be ex-wife passes and suddenly he is faced with raising three girls on his own? I can make this promise publicly: As much as I care for him, I will do everything I can to ensure that the girls will have a stable home…with me. Enough is enough.


4 responses to “

  1. This just kills, When my 15 year old was little, there was a woman whose husband left her and their 3 kids after she was diagnosed with Cancer. When she died her sister took the kids.The Dad did not want them. We all poured out to help this woman and her husband with these kids. 3 years later the courts took the kids from her because of neglect, she was happy for the money and the attention, but not the kids. I moved to another state, so I never heard what happened to those kids. You need any help with them, YOU ASK! please! I’m not sure what I can do, but I dman well will try.

  2. The war has fucked him all up, IMHO. Of course, I don’t know what he was like before, but it seems everyone who comes back is all confused and their value system scrambled. 😦

  3. got here from Sorrow’s wonderful pic on her blog roll.
    That is just so sad, what is happening to soldiers both here in the UK and in the States is terrible. And no-one seems to be noticing how completely mad the soldiers are becoming.
    My heart bleeds for your friend and her children.

    Wow! Thanks for visiting! My friend is holding her ground as he is begging her forgiveness. She wants him to go to real counseling, so that maybe they can resolve everything. They’ve been together since they were sixteen years old, so it is very sad to see the military destroy a long term marriage. ~ Hugs SG

  4. So many wonderful marriages, relationships and families are being destroyed by the horrors of ‘war’, as experienced by our soldiers. I had several thoughts go through my mind when I read your initial post….as many soldiers do, he seems to have attempted to ‘detach’ in order to deploy. It’s so sad and I wish your friends much healing – both physically, individually and as a family.

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